giving up

Just a forwarning, I'm a bit frustrated and this blog might just be me rambling on about nothing at all important.
Do you ever get the feeling that you just want to give up? I get so frustrated with the way I have to do things with my girls. SInce they have been born I have had to work and we cant afford to pay much for babysitters. But sometimes there are weeks where we have 10 different people watching them. And there are also weeks when  i just can't find a babysitter at all so we can go to work. I'm so tired of feeling like I try so hard for nothing in return. Brian and I both work so hard and for what???? We are still behind, we can't give our girls what they need when it comes to stability like I would like, we can never catch up. i just want to say"to hell with it all" and GIVE UP!!!! But I know I can't do that. I know I have to continue to go to work every day to help out. And I dont mind helping out, I just wish things were a bit more easy for us. On top of that it puts so much stress on a marriage. Brian and I struggle. We are not the ideal or perfect couple. WE make our mistakes. And it's just one more thing to stress about. I do have to be graitful though. Brian does alot. He tries. I have so much family that helps with the girls. I just wish I could do more for all of them. I know Im rambling, i just need to hear that I'm not the only mom out there that struggles and just wants to give up. I need t know that what I"m feeling is normal. I need to know that there is hope, because right now I dont feel like there is. Right now i just feel like its never going to get any better. I love my girls. they are the ones that keep me going most days. They do drive me crazy, but they are the ones that make it all worth it in the end. I'm up for anyones advice on any of the topics I have mentioned. I just can't do this alone anymore.

mouse in the house

I know he looks cute, but let me tell you they are not!!! Today we get home from Disney on Ice. (Lots of fun) and we go upstairs and on the carpet is a nice little gray mouse DEAD!!!! Luckly it was dead, but I'm so sick and tired of all these mice. Earlier this week, I go in the garage to put some of the girls clothes away and I smell something dead. Sure enough we move a few things and there was another dead mouse. Brian said that when he picked him up that his hair fell off so I guess it's been dead for awhile. YUCK!!! So with this weeks capture of 2 mice we have caught 5 mice this fall. For some reason they like our house and we have been trying to be so good about not leaving food out. and it makes me feel like I have a dirty house when I dont. it has its normal cludder but we dont leave food out or the house dirty. I'm hoping that now it has snowed that they will all die outside. But i'm sure we will all smell it around here than. ugh........is anyone else catching as many as I am??? BTW we do have a cat and 2 dogs and I think the dog got to the mouse today but I know the cat wont touch it. She is too afraid. you would think with all the animals we have that the mouse problem would not be a problem.

picking pumpkins and our UTES outfit

Here are some pictures of us in our UTES outfits. Our Friend Kalee made these tutu's for us. We seem to really like them. (I can't figure out how to change the pictures so it's right side up and I don't have the patients to figure it out tonight. same with the underlining. ugh...)

Ali on her car. She loves this car. They fight over it because we only have one. heaven forbid we have one of something. LOL

Alyssa sitting on the chair.

Both of my cute little girls. ( Alyssa would only stand there long enough if I gave her my phone so that's what she is doing is talking on the phone :-)

Here we are picking pumpkins. We had a lot of fun picking pumpkins. we went to a little patch and let the girls go and wonder and sit and play with them. It's was a nice warm day and we had alot of fun.

Both of these are Alyssa. She looks like she is trying to decide how on Earth she is going to puck this up. And than she decides she was going to go and sit on one of them. Too cute. LOL

Ali found the pumpkin she wanted and picked up and walked over to us.

Alyssa trying to do the same thing. :-) but to a pumpkin way too big for her to pick up. But she wants to try anyways.

Ali and Daddy deciding if they want that pumpkin or not.

On our way to the car after we picked out all the pumpkins we wanted. We HAD to sit in the wagon.

And lastly, Ali was sitting on every pumpkin. I had to get a picture of her on one.

I'm going to try and post our Disney trip, but there are so many pictures I have to go through still.

I got a new job too!!!

So most of you know, my boss was changing my hours to something I just did not want to do (and could not), so it I left me no choice but to find something else. SO I searched everywhere and was very lucky to have an interview yesterday and an answer all in one day. I got the job I wanted at IMC in the women's center lab. It's next to the OB and pediatricians offices in the women's center. It's Monday - Friday 10 am to 6:30 pm. no holidays or weekends. (that is the best part) It's doing outpatient now which I would rather go back to over impatient. I'm really excited for it. I will be home to put my little girls to bed and cook them dinner. Brians new job will be having him work more nights, so this will be good I think. My only real concern is that I need to find babysitters for Tuesdays and Mondays since I used to have them off. so if any of you know anyone? Thanks.

Good Bye............

Brian is saying GOOD BYE to Hertz!!!!
And HELLO to CHADDERS in Provo.

Earlier this month, Brian got a phone call from an old boss from when he was in High school (who tracked him down from realitives in Pleasant Grove), kind of making a job opportunity to him. Over the last month Brian has been interviewing and they have been talking things out to get things to move over into new management. In the end they have made Brian an offer he just can't pass up. He will be a general manager for Chadders in Provo. Doing the hiring and the managing and the everything. He is getting more money and bonuses and room to make more money in the future. It will also mean that I wont have to work as much. I will for a little while longer (full time), but I know there is an end coming in the near future and that makes it a bit more bearable. (Work for me is getting better though) We are both excited for this new change. It will be better and something I think we really needed. A BIG blessing. Something we have been praying for, for a long time. We hope it will be good. Wish him good luck!!! I am so proud of you!