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Saturday, November 28, 2009

giving up

Just a forwarning, I'm a bit frustrated and this blog might just be me rambling on about nothing at all important.
Do you ever get the feeling that you just want to give up? I get so frustrated with the way I have to do things with my girls. SInce they have been born I have had to work and we cant afford to pay much for babysitters. But sometimes there are weeks where we have 10 different people watching them. And there are also weeks when  i just can't find a babysitter at all so we can go to work. I'm so tired of feeling like I try so hard for nothing in return. Brian and I both work so hard and for what???? We are still behind, we can't give our girls what they need when it comes to stability like I would like, we can never catch up. i just want to say"to hell with it all" and GIVE UP!!!! But I know I can't do that. I know I have to continue to go to work every day to help out. And I dont mind helping out, I just wish things were a bit more easy for us. On top of that it puts so much stress on a marriage. Brian and I struggle. We are not the ideal or perfect couple. WE make our mistakes. And it's just one more thing to stress about. I do have to be graitful though. Brian does alot. He tries. I have so much family that helps with the girls. I just wish I could do more for all of them. I know Im rambling, i just need to hear that I'm not the only mom out there that struggles and just wants to give up. I need t know that what I"m feeling is normal. I need to know that there is hope, because right now I dont feel like there is. Right now i just feel like its never going to get any better. I love my girls. they are the ones that keep me going most days. They do drive me crazy, but they are the ones that make it all worth it in the end. I'm up for anyones advice on any of the topics I have mentioned. I just can't do this alone anymore.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

mouse in the house

I know he looks cute, but let me tell you they are not!!! Today we get home from Disney on Ice. (Lots of fun) and we go upstairs and on the carpet is a nice little gray mouse DEAD!!!! Luckly it was dead, but I'm so sick and tired of all these mice. Earlier this week, I go in the garage to put some of the girls clothes away and I smell something dead. Sure enough we move a few things and there was another dead mouse. Brian said that when he picked him up that his hair fell off so I guess it's been dead for awhile. YUCK!!! So with this weeks capture of 2 mice we have caught 5 mice this fall. For some reason they like our house and we have been trying to be so good about not leaving food out. and it makes me feel like I have a dirty house when I dont. it has its normal cludder but we dont leave food out or the house dirty. I'm hoping that now it has snowed that they will all die outside. But i'm sure we will all smell it around here than. anyone else catching as many as I am??? BTW we do have a cat and 2 dogs and I think the dog got to the mouse today but I know the cat wont touch it. She is too afraid. you would think with all the animals we have that the mouse problem would not be a problem.